5 replies to this topic

[Alan]

Not personally but i do know people who have had problems with bullying and they were disappointed with the apparent lack of any real anti bullying policy, but as i say that was never a problem with any of my children thankfully

Mum
much of what you say supports a good school, but many of the problems are down to parents and the lack of action by them. I've been there, sometimes the child needs too stand up, but more importantly if they are a victim then get the police involved, not the school.

[Fran]

sometimes the child needs too stand up, but more importantly if they are a victim then get the police involved, not the school.

I think you should (almost) always go via the school first - especially if you are going to have child/ren there for a while longer. The definition of "bullying" has widened in recent years and I don't think the police should be summoned (nor would want to be) for more minor incidents of name-calling and pinching pencils which are sometimes called bullying, even if the school isn't doing much. In that case, the LEA might be a better place to lodge a complaint and push the school to change.

[roob_the_doob]

I think you should (almost) always go via the school first - especially if you are going to have child/ren there for a while longer. The definition of "bullying" has widened in recent years and I don't think the police should be summoned (nor would want to be) for more minor incidents of name-calling and pinching pencils which are sometimes called bullying, even if the school isn't doing much. In that case, the LEA might be a better place to lodge a complaint and push the school to change.

The problem is when schools don't act on these "minor" incidents. That is what then gives a green light to kids to ratchet things up.

I can't speak for St Mary's, but I can certainly say that Elangeni has a very strong and effective anti-bullying policy.

[Fran]

The problem is when schools don't act on these "minor" incidents. That is what then gives a green light to kids to ratchet things up.

Yes - and no. It depends where you draw the line between "normal" unpleasantness and bullying.

Whilst I would never condone either, in the real world, people (adults too!) are not always nice to each other and one aspect of growing up is learning how to cope with that: when to let it lie and when to escalate to higher authorities.

For one-off minor incidents, applying the label "bullying" and cranking up some procedure can actually make things worse for everyone, including the person on the receiving end who then carries the dispiriting (and potentially self-perpetuating) label of "victim".

[Mum of Five]

As i said none of my children had any real problems with any kind of "bullying" but another child in the same class was picked on several times by another child, comments were made regarding the childs weight, home life etc and i do know that the parent went into see the class teacher on more than just a couple of occasions and it appeared nothing was done. Maybe bullying was the wrong turn of phrase........ I do know that the child who was at the rough end of these comments ended up wetting the bed and after a while both they and their siblings moved on to another school and is very happy now, thankfully...

[Fran]

It makes me glad I'm not a teacher. You can punish, but short of expelling the perpetrator, I'm not sure how you can actually stop name-calling and snide comments, especially if it's done in private and is just one child's word against another. Still, I'm glad the child you know found peace, albeit with the upheaval of moving schools.